A Vision of the Future
I came across this today and found it quite funny...
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was anounsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty per sent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' with 'z'. Perhaps zen ze finktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of letters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli have a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of the Guvernmnt vud finali have kum tru.
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was anounsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty per sent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' with 'z'. Perhaps zen ze finktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of letters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli have a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of the Guvernmnt vud finali have kum tru.
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hilarious! :D
Posted by
Anonymous |
Sunday, July 31, 2005 8:07:00 AM
funny, but some true ideas.
i generally while chatting, i write for example: aldo (although), caf (cough), neibor (neighbour), and it is already accepted, or on the way to be accepted :)
Posted by
Hovic Atokian |
Sunday, July 31, 2005 5:30:00 PM
heh at least this is readable...wait till you read my pupil's composition...! ;)
Posted by
Anonymous |
Monday, August 01, 2005 2:33:00 PM
eeks again that's me, Nour...not sure why this window just enters me so...
Posted by
Anonymous |
Monday, August 01, 2005 2:34:00 PM
Well i find it funny and weird at the same time :P ask me why ? coz i read i smoothly :P and it was a big change in the word even as a first letter :P
Posted by
M!R@CHK@ |
Monday, August 01, 2005 8:13:00 PM
That was hillarious.
The article really drove the point home
Posted by
x |
Tuesday, August 02, 2005 9:52:00 PM
Gled yu guyz fund it funi :p
Posted by
Dina |
Friday, August 05, 2005 4:08:00 PM
lol
that was hilarious
Posted by
Phantom of the Blog |
Saturday, August 06, 2005 7:34:00 PM
Heh :D really nice.
But you know, there are many words in English changed from what thet were. Like "who"! you can see the "w" that we don't spell .....and many other words that are not in my mind right now.
Thanks ;)
Posted by
Hasan Bazerbashi |
Sunday, August 07, 2005 12:55:00 PM
sowarik 3ala flickr fazi3een.. sho hal talent ya Dina
Posted by
x |
Tuesday, August 09, 2005 6:21:00 AM
Amazing,you can actually read that mess.
Thank u, that was really interesting.
Posted by
Zena |
Wednesday, August 10, 2005 9:12:00 PM
It's because English is a mixture of so many different languages. If I'm not mistaken, it started off as a Germanic language. It was heavily influenced by French. And I'm sure there are plenty of other languages it stole from.
That's why we have spelling bees in English, but not sure how many other languages have spelling bees. Spanish and Japanese would be too easy. everyone would win.
Posted by
The Zombieslayer |
Saturday, August 13, 2005 4:27:00 AM
hmmm, never heard about it!
what a bad european citizen
Posted by
Unknown |
Thursday, August 18, 2005 2:48:00 PM
Nurhan, Hasan, Zena, Omar: Glad you liked it :)
Omar: Shukran :)
Zombieslayer: That's true, I did read that.
Posted by
Dina |
Friday, August 19, 2005 2:57:00 AM