Guys' Rules
A friend of mine sent me this. However these rules do not express my views on the issue ;)
The Guys' Rules:
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.These are our rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do notwork! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us toact like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, forexample, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing'swrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer youdon't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know menreally don't mind that? It's like camping.
The Guys' Rules:
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.These are our rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do notwork! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us toact like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, forexample, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing'swrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer youdon't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know menreally don't mind that? It's like camping.
Technorati Tags: , Guy's Rules, Guy Jokes
| Permalink | E-mail this post 
lool...i guess with this kind of mentality the camping season will start early this year :D...
Posted by
Anonymous |
Sunday, October 23, 2005 4:35:00 PM
that was hillarious..
The sad part is, I agree with 90% of it. I'm thinking about printing my favourite ones on shirts, and distributing those shirts to girls
Posted by
Anonymous |
Sunday, October 23, 2005 8:02:00 PM
Oh good greif has the person who wrote all that been out with my girlfriend?
It's funny but I don't want to admit it.
Posted by
Anonymous |
Monday, October 24, 2005 12:28:00 AM
Haha..I will keep in this in mind :)
Posted by
Anonymous |
Tuesday, October 25, 2005 10:53:00 AM
Damn it .... guys are jerks what can you say ;)
come on.... round is a shape of course :D
I will try to invent girls rules soon :(
Posted by
Anonymous |
Tuesday, October 25, 2005 7:34:00 PM
I agree with a lot of them. Some girls are just flat out annoying like that. Of course I grew up with a lot of boys, and would rather hang out with them and watch sports with them than go shopping. But, I will not accept the toilette seat one - EVER!
Posted by
Anonymous |
Wednesday, October 26, 2005 2:51:00 AM
For God's sake guys...GROW UP.
honestly they have some attitute sometimes..
Posted by
Anonymous |
Wednesday, October 26, 2005 12:56:00 PM
There is a lot of truth in that despite the funniness in it. I suggest you read a book I have read recently in Arabic based on an English book. I have written a small blog ebtry on that matter, Why Men Can't Listen and Women Can't Read the Map.
As for Girls rules, Gray-fox, check this
Posted by
Anonymous |
Friday, October 28, 2005 7:11:00 PM
I forgot to mention my name above. LOL
And it isn't FRQSTR=18785269|18785269|18785269|18785269|18785269 |
Posted by
Anonymous |
Friday, October 28, 2005 7:15:00 PM
i recieved this email as well :) i found it really funny ;)
Posted by
Anonymous |
Saturday, October 29, 2005 3:03:00 PM
Hehehe that was REALLY funny...
we are not that bad ALL THE TIME girlz...
Posted by
Anonymous |
Monday, October 31, 2005 3:59:00 PM
Hi Dina! Wishing You and Your Family Eid Mubarak! Take care!
Posted by
Anonymous |
Wednesday, November 02, 2005 4:56:00 PM
Christopher Columbus didn't need directions? He did lose 9 ships during his voyages and thought he was on one side of the world when he was actually on the other...so I guess that rule does acutally belong on the "guy's rules list" (and YES, you DO need directions >;)
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